Are Your Food Rules Actually Fuelling Your Binges?
Are you following food rules all week? Maybe you're eating "clean," avoiding certain foods, or stick to a strict eating regime, only to find yourself mid-binge thinking, "Why can't I just stick to the plan?"
If that sounds familiar, the rules themselves might be part of the problem. Hear me out…
What Are Food Rules?
If you've built up food rules over the years, you probably did so for an understandable reason. Maybe you were trying to get healthier, lose weight, or feel more in control. Food rules often start with good intentions, but over time, they can become something that keeps the binge cycle going.
The tricky part is that they often morph into "this is just how I eat" and so the rules become hard to spot.
Here are a few rule types you might recognise:
Forbidden foods: things you've decided you "just don't eat," can't keep in the house, or only allow yourself on special ocsasions or weekends.
Quantity or calorie rules: counting calories, never having seconds, hitting a macro target every day.
Timing rules: eating only within certain hours, or never after 7 or 8pm, or ignoring hunger that shows up "at the wrong time."
Social rules: avoiding eating around others, always choosing the "safest" menu option, or eating beforehand so you won't be "tempted."
Compensation rules: feeling you have to earn food, or making up for eating by exercising more or eating less the next day.
These rules often operate below conscious awareness. They can feel like part of your identity ("I'm just someone who doesn't eat carbs after 6pm") rather than restriction per se.
Why Food Rules Can Lead to Bingeing
I often have to reiterate this to my clients: binge eating isn't happening because you lack willpower. In fact, strict food rules can actually set you up to binge later, and there are two reasons for that, one biological and one psychological.
Biologically, when you restrict how much or when you eat, your body doesn't know you're doing it on purpose. From your body’s perspective, food is simply scarce, so it responds by turning up hunger and making it harder to feel full. Your brain also becomes more preoccupied with food, because it's trying to make sure you eat.
Psychologically, breaking a rule - even slightly - can trigger what I call the "sod it" effect. Let’s say your rule is "I don't eat biscuits." One day, you have one and your brain immediately thinks: "Well, I've already broken the rule, may as well finish the packet." This is the all-or-nothing mindset at work: you're either following the rules perfectly, or you've failed completely. There's no in-between.
Once you land in "I've failed" territory, guilt and shame tend to follow, those feelings can drive you to eat even more, especially if food has become a way of coping. Then the compensation rule kicks in: you decide to restrict tomorrow to make up for it, and then the restriction sets up the next binge, and so the cycle continues…
How to Start Challenging Your Food Rules
The good news is you can start loosening these rules. I don’t recommend that you try to tackle the all at once though! Go slowly, using the following 5-step process:
Write them all down. Include the obvious ones and the subtle ones, using the categories above as a guide. Try not to judge them, this step is all about noticing them.
Reflect honestly on each one. Ask yourself: How do I feel if I break this rule? Does it actually prevent bingeing, or make one more likely? Does it improve my quality of life, or shrink it?
Rank them, from easiest to hardest to bend or break.
Gently experiment with bending some of the easier rules. For example, if your rule is "no eating after 8pm," try planning a snack for 8:15 and see what actually happens.
Reflect afterwards. Was it as bad as you expected? What happened to your anxiety? What did you learn about yourself?
You're gathering evidence, bit by bit, that it's safe to be more flexible. As it starts to feel easier to bend / break the easier rules, you can work your way toward the harder ones. Note that this might take a while, maybe weeks, months or longer. That’s OK! Be gentle with yourself and go at your own pace.
Food Rules Can Be Unlearned
Food rules are learned, whether they come from culture, your family, or the diets and eating regimes you've tried over the years. The good news is that because they're learned, they can be unlearned too.
Yes, challenging them can feel uncomfortable, especially if you've followed them for years, and you certainlyu don’t have to change everything at once (in fact, I recommend taking them one at a time and starting small).
And if you want support on your journey towards breaking the food rules, just reach out. You can book a free discovery call here to find out how this might work for you.
Or if you have any questions, feel free to pop them in the form below, and I’ll get back to you with some strategies to help.