How to Eat 'Fear Foods' Without It Turning Into a Binge

I used to have a long list of “not allowed” or “fear foods”. Things like chococlate, crisps and ice cream were most certainly off limits. I absolutely thought I was being disciplined, but as someone who was struggling with binge eating, I now know that completely avoiding foods like that can make the binges worse. In this post I'm breaking down what a fear food is, why avoiding it can make bingeing worse, why "just eat it" can backfire just as badly, and what actually works instead.

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What is a fear food, really?

If you have a tendency to binge or overeat, a fear food is something you worry will trigger a binge. It's usually the food you've decided can't be in the house, or the one where you tell yourself "just two squares of chocolate" and somehow end up finishing the bar. The problem is what happens when we try to cut these foods out completely - instead of wanting them less, we end up wanting them more!

The pink elephant effect

I call this the pink elephant effect. Think of it this way: if I tell you not to think about a pink elephant, the first thing you do is picture one. Fear foods work exactly the same way. Tell yourself "I can never eat chocolate again" or "I can never have crisps again," and your brain immediately starts thinking about the very food you've banned. You may have heard the term food noise? That constant mental chatter about certain foods in the back of your mind… You tell yourself you can’t have them but then end up thinking about them literally all day!

Why "just eat it" doesn't work either

Buttttt… “just eat it” doesn’t work either. It’s exactly what I’ve worked with several clients who tell me that intuitive eating didn’t work for them. They’ve jumped from completely cutting a food out to "I can eat anything, whenever I want," with nothing in between. Going from total avoidance straight to total freedom can actually trigger binges, because you feel like you've deprived yourself for so long that you overcompensate and end up eating far more than you intended.

Step one: stabilise with regular eating

This is why, before anyone starts eating their fear foods again, we need to stabilise how they're eating first. That means keeping blood sugar levels steady and avoiding getting overly hungry. In practice, this means eating every three to four hours and pairing protein with fibre at each meal. If you're someone who skips breakfast, I highly recommend eating it again. Breakfast kickstarts your metabolism and stops you from getting ravenous later in the day, which is exactly the kind of hunger that tends to trigger a binge. Only once eating is stable and you're well-nourished do we start addressing the fear foods themselves.

Step two: repeated neutral exposure

I'll share my own experience here. Doritos were a huge trigger for me when I was recovering from binge eating and bulimia. If there were Doritos around, I'd eat everything in sight, and it was totally out of control. Before I could start eating Doritos again, I had to get the basics right first, eating regularly and eating breakfast, so I wasn't setting myself up to binge because I was overly hungry.

What I started doing was giving myself a bowl of Doritos every single evening, and I did it knowing there would be another bowl waiting for me the next night. That's the shift that matters - it’s this repeated neutral exposure where you are taking a food off the pedestal and letting it become just food again.

Every evening, after dinner, I sat down with my bowl of Doritos. It was low stakes because I'd already eaten and wasn't overly hungry, so a binge was far less likely. I was giving myself permission to eat it, and I knew I'd be doing exactly the same thing the next day, and the day after that. Knowing there was always another bowl coming meant I didn't have to eat everything in sight that particular evening. I kept telling myself, it's okay, I'm having some tomorrow too, don't worry about it.

That's a completely different mindset from before. When Doritos were on my forbidden list, it meant that if I ever had some, I had to eat it all right there and then, because who knew when I'd let myself have it again.

It took about a month until one evening, I genuinely didn't fancy any. And now, years later, I can take or leave Doritos entirely. If they're around, I'll have a few, but that insatiable, out-of-control pull is gone.

I did the same thing with peanut butter and jam on toast, which had been a real binge food for me. I had it for breakfast every single morning during recovery, giving myself the same repeated, neutral exposure. After three or four weeks, I actually got tired of having the same breakfast every day, and that took away the insatiable desire too.

The Bottom Line…

So there you have it: too much restriction backfires if you're someone who binges, and jumping straight from restriction to total food freedom can backfire just as badly. It’s so important to be nourishing your body and eating regularly first, only then can you address the fear foods through repeated, low-stakes exposure. For some people that stabilising stage takes a little time, and that's exactly what my binge-free guide walks you through, nine essential steps to help you stop bingeing and live a binge-free life. You can grab a copy of it by clicking this link here.

Or if you have any questions, just pop them in the box below and I’ll get back to you with some tips and strategies.