Five things to NEVER say or do in front of your daughters…
My mum’s friend: beautiful beyond imagination, the most kind-hearted soul and one of and my idols when I was growing up. When I grew up I wanted to be just like her. Oh, and I also wished she was my mum, instead of my actual mum (sorry mum!).
She also had two boys and I’m so pleased she did; because she was constantly on a diet. In fact, I don’t really recall a time when she wasn’t on one. One summer when I was 16, she was on another of her crazy diets. This time it was: eat only potatoes on day 1; only chicken and tomatoes on day 2; bananas on day 3; and potatoes again on day 4. Or at least that’s what I remember the diet to be. I think she was allowed a drop of milk for her tea and one or two other allowances. I think she lost a kilo.
I was an impressionable 16 year old – watching this wonderful, and thoroughly gorgeous person go on yet another diet…
Of course, it's unlikely that my dreadful relationship with food in my late teens and early 20’s is entirely attributable to this exact moment. Of course not, there were many other things that formed the basis for my relationship with food. But this can’t have helped – seeing my mum’s gorgeous friend somehow unhappy with her looks, her body and denying herself. Food in some way was the enemy whilst she tried to shed those “last few kilos”.
So that’s why I’m glad she had boys – I was a young, impressionable teen watching her fight food. Her boys, I hope, were oblivious…
So, if you are a mum and you have a daughter, or an aunt and you have nieces, what can you do?
Never EVER go on a diet. Just don’t. Implement a healthy eating plan, but just don’t diet.
Never comment on your daughter’s weight, size or looks (positive OR negative). Never say: wow, you’ve lost weight, or, doesn’t your waist look lovely in that dress. And never ever say anything like “gosh, haven’t you piled on the pounds.” Just NO. If she has, I imagine your daughter is already aware of that. Instead, comment on HER, how kind and lovely she is or comment on her personality. Just not on her looks.
Don’t label foods as bad, or naughty. If you don’t want them to be eaten, don’t buy them. Don’t stock them in the house.
Do teach your daughter (and son) to cook. Teach them how to cook healthy and nutritious meals and to enjoy their food. Also teach healthy portion size.
Teach your children to view food as something that is nutritious and wholesome, and not as an enemy.
So, in short, careful what you say to your kids and how you role model. You just don’t know who is watching.