5 warning signs you need a digital detox & what to do about it

We were on holiday last week in a gorgeous resort where the people watching was incredible. We were in the beautiful Spanish country-side with so much beauty all around us, yet so many people were addicted to their screens.

The coma-inducing kids club promised “fun games” but instead saw catatonic 4-12 year olds glued to a variety of screens – the TV or their own screens… and many families’ mealtimes involved their children watching a phone or iPad, no interaction, no talking, nothing.

I really wonder what we are creating.  Will these children become a generation of adults who can never switch off, TV dinners, addicted to games… with the average child spending around six hours a day glued to a screen do we need to be careful? Now don’t get me wrong, I know there are times with my own kids where “who wants to watch Paw Patrol?” can turn a chaotic house into an oasis of calm… but perhaps there are limits.

And what about adults? Just ten years ago, smart phones were new; some people, but not others, had them. But where are we now, and is it time for a digital detox? Take this short questionnaire to see if you need a digital detox.

1. Your phone pings in the middle of a conversation with your friend/partner. Do you: a) ignore it and check it afterwards; b) make an excuse, you’re expecting a text from your Aunty Jean, so you better check your phone just in case; c) you are already checking your phone when the message comes through

2. You are out for dinner with your friend/partner. Do you: a) leave your phone in your bag/pocket, you can catch up with news after dinner; b) have the phone next to you on the dinner table in case something interesting comes through; c) you are both on your phones, taking pics and posting on Instagram/Facebook/Snapchat

3. You are on your commute into work via train/tube. Do you: a) keep your phone in your bag and read a book or your kindle instead; b) check Facebook / Instagram / emails for at least half the journey and then pick up the paper/book for a read; c) you are on the phone the whole journey and get annoyed when you go underground because you can’t refresh your feed

4. You are on holiday with friends. Do you: a) phone? What phone? You’ve left it in your room so you can enjoy the swimming/sightseeing etc; b) you have the phone with you, but mainly to take pictures to capture the fun moments you are having; c) your phone it glued to your fingers whilst you take snaps, post them on social media, respond to WhatsApp messages and refresh your feed to see who’s liked your photos

5. You wake up in the morning, and the first thing you do is: a) get up, stretch, perhaps a bit of yoga, meditate, write some gratitude in your journal; b) get up, stretch, grab a coffee and catch up on social media whilst having breakfast; c) roll over, grab your phone and scroll through various social media feeds, respond to messages etc

Tally up your score… Are you:

Mostly A’s: You are doing well. Probably no need for a digital detox and you probably have a healthy balance of using your phone, but switching off when necessary.

Mostly B’s: You are somewhere down the middle here – you clearly enjoy using social media and have some balance. It’s useful for you to be mindful of how you are using your phone and perhaps implement some of the strategies below.

Mostly C’s: Time for a digital detox! See if you can spend the next hour without picking up your phone and try some of the strategies below…

What can we do to help us detox?

Notice

The first step is to notice that you need to change. Do you see your phone addiction as a problem or not? Notice how much of your day involves your phone glued to your hand.  How easy is it to put your phone down? Are your interactions meaningful? Do you chat to friends, with or without glancing at your phone? Do you ever leave your phone in your bag? Do you ever have an evening, day out, where you don’t update Instagram or Facebook? If you have a moment whilst eating a meal, or chatting with a friend and you realise it’s hard to wait until the end of the meal/conversation to respond to a WhatsApp message, then you know it’s time to detox.

Notifications

This is probably a hard one for most, but turning off the notifications settings on your phone will make your days markedly more relaxed…

Limit

If turning off the notifications settings is hard, then create certain times in your day to check your phone and catch up with messages – and stick to those times!  If you need to, set a timer so you don’t get sucked in…

Role model

And finally, be a role model, to friends, family. How many times have you seen a group of people sitting in a restaurant, with everyone looking at a screen?  Or worse, everyone except one person looking at a screen, and then finally that lone person joins the crowd and picks up their phone as well.  Why not be the person who stands out, who refuses to check their phone during special moments?  Think of your friends – if this was your last meal together (for whatever reason), would you need to respond to that WhatsApp message?  Could it wait an hour or so instead?

And finally, live in the moment and treasure those moments with others. Enjoy the detox!